Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Finding a New Purpose

My little one,

You're not so little anymore.  I think the hardest and best part of being your Mom is watching you grow.  We waited so long for you.  It was so hard.  I began to wonder if I would ever have a child of my own and then you surprised us.  Finding out that I was pregnant was our Christmas miracle.
You have grown so fast and I have tried to live in every moment.
I let you go off to school.  You were so excited.  I begged you to stay home, but you were ready.  I was sleepless and having panic attacks.  I sobbed almost nightly for a month.  I feel like you just came into my life and now I have to send you off to be with someone else most of the day.  It's hard and everyday I wonder if I'm going the right thing.  After Daddy gave you a blessing this morning I had a thought come to my mind.  I have had so many experiences over the last few years that have helped me grow closer to the Savior.  To list a few: going to Texas and being away from my family, making new friends, being in church congregations that were struggling, and helping people who had little to nothing, taking care of a little girl who needed a family and then having to give her up after falling in love with her, moving to Montana, and then finding new friends again.  These are things that have helped me to learn love, find faith, and doubt my doubts.  Why would I ever keep you from experiencing these things yourself.
In Daddy's blessing you were told that you have a strong spirit and that you will be able to be a good example.  There are kids in your school that don't have what you have and it's my hope that while you are there you will learn to love all of them the way Jesus would.
I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that he loves you.  He is guiding our lives and he is very aware of us.  It's a good thing we are in this together.  Change is good, even though it's hard.
I love you snuggle bug!


Your Mom

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The Other Half

This actually happened y'all.  I got visitors from my side of the family....and they were super cute to boot.  It was so good to have Michael's family here.  It does my heart good to spend more time with him.  There was a time about 10 years ago when he was my other half.  We did everything together and I think we told each other everything.  I'll never complain about being born between the only two boys in the family because they are truly my best friends.  I love their stinking guts!
It's been a long time since I've actually sat down with Michael and talked like we used.  To start off with he saved me from a terrible migraine with a late night visit to Taco Bell.  It was quite the scene.  For the first time in my life I was begging for Caffeine at a fast food window and the guy there didn't have any Coke.  I settled for a blue Mountain Dew...which was gross, but so worth it when my going on 3 day migraine vanished.  It was magic!
The next day we went to church together, watch church shows, played play-doh, and sailed pieces of plastic down the irrigation ditch.  The kids had such a good time together. Wyatt became my buddy and I had the pleasure of fixing Colten's stuffed animal. What can I say...I'm trying to earn favorite Aunt status here.  I'll have to work on the girls next time...they like their parents a little too much.  :)   Audrey was so sad when her six little friends went home.  It really was too short.  We miss them.  Thank you Mike and Chrissy for the late night talks and sharing your babies with me.  I love your guts! 

Monday, September 11, 2017

Family Reunion

Reunions are the best, especially when you can come together in a place like this.  Sometimes I look around at all of us and I did this happen?  I still remember Michael, Phillip, and myself hog tying each other.  I remember playing baseball and football out back, switching chores with my brothers because I hating vacuuming the stairs, riding on the backs of dirt bikes out in the orchard, playing in the irrigation ditches, and walking to the fruit stand for surprise bags or penny candy.  I remember rollerblading for hours, eating unripened apples off of the nearby orchard trees, planting flowers with Mom, watching movies with the whole family, singing karaoke, and snowball fights.  I remember riding our go-cart and using a stick as a brake, declaring many bum wars on the trampoline, and playing volleyball as a family.  I could go on and on and on.  
Now we are all grown up and married.  It's kind of crazy.  I don't know if anyone else feels this way but sometimes I feel like I'm playing house.  Some times I feel like I'm not really a Mom and I'm not really married...I'm just playing a really fun game.  
Now that the wrinkles are showing I have finally come to realize that this is all for real and I try not to blink because I don't want to miss a thing.  I miss these people so much when I'm away and when we get together it's just like old times.  Watching my siblings kids grow and watching them grow as parents and individuals is one of the most beautiful things.  I have sisters that just seem to sense when to call and what to say when they do.  I have brothers that face time on Sunday's and show up out of the blue to give me much needed love and laughter.  
My parents should be thanked a thousand times over because they did an amazing job as parents.  The funny thing to me is that I feel like I need them more and more the older I get.  I don't know a thing about this adult stuff and sometimes it can get pretty daunting.  It's a good thing I have them and a whole lot of brothers and sisters when I need someone to talk to.  
I love coming together for reunions.  I love trying to get my nieces and nephews to love me.  I don't live close so it's a harder task than it may seem.  I love riding horses with the kids and fishing with Audrey.  I love coming together for meals and games at night.  I love siting around talking about our day to day, shooting guns, paddle boarding down the river, and watching people swim in the pond...maybe next year I'll brave the water.  
Mostly I just love this family of mine and I wish it could have lasted longer.  Next time I hope to get more pictures of the adults doing things.  I'm inclined to take pictures of kids because it's so easy, but I'd like to preserve more memories of my siblings and their spouses being together.  
This year we missed Phillip and Dad.  They were working, but I was so so happy that I got to pick Dad up from the airport and have dinner with him.  It was good to see him if only for a little while. Until next time....I love all of you!  

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Utah Trip

I'm behind so now I'm going backward.  I've missed my family so much.  It has been 9 months since I have seen them so this trip was much needed.  I feel like there's only so long I can last without filling my family tank again.  I love y'all! 
Before we went off to our reunion we spent some time with Rod and Anne and Paul's Grandmother.  I was so glad that they invited us to go boating.  I forgot how much fun it was to spend a day on the lake.  Audrey was so excited because it was her first time.  I think she was thinking pirate ship, in her mind I'm sure there were great adventures to be had.  After all, we had just been listening to "Peter and the Star Catchers" the day before.  She was not disappointed at all though.  For the first 10 minutes she was telling me how beautiful it was out on the lake and asking all sorts of questions.  I love seeing the world through her eyes.  Most of the time I don't stop to think about the mountains around me and the blue lake that looks like glass.  She inspires me to be more thankful for even the smallest of things.  
We had an amazing time.  We got out on the tube with Audrey and she thought it was amazing.  There was a part when we told Grandpa Rod to go faster and she had to cover her eyes because she got a little nervous about the bumpiness. Overall she was loving every bit of it.  
I love wake boarding.  I'm honestly not that great at it but I love it.  It was only the next day that I realized that I'm not 20 anymore.  It was so sore, but every sore muscle was worth it!  I am hoping to do it again soon.  
Paul loves to slalom ski.  It reminds me of my Dad and his love for it too. He grew up boating the whole summer so he was so excited to actually get to go boating this year.   The lake did not disappoint.  It was perfect.  
Thanks for letting us come Road and Anne.  It was perfect!