Then You Stand

Today was a really overwhelming day. I truly think that some people were inherently born with the talent of suppressing stress. Although I may try my hand at breathing exercises, and anxiety books, I don't think I will ever manage a life devoid of tension. I was driving home after a long day at school and once again I was feeling it build up inside of me. It seemed to move all the way through my body until it conveniently positioned itself in my forehead. Out of habit I looked in my review mirror to switch lanes and I took a good look at myself. I hardly even recognized the person staring back at me, I continued to stare trying unsuccessfully to straighten out my forehead. I composed myself, focused and even began to rub it back and forth until I finally got it to look normal. Just as my focus moved to something else it would tense back up again. I was tempted to get frustrated with myself but what's the point in being frustrated with my frustration. Needless to say I failed in my attempts to once again conquer my disease of tensionidous.


About two weeks ago I was given a rather large tedious assignment in my "Form and Analysis" class. I walked away feeling like I had just gotten hit by a bus. I don't think these professors understand what they are doing to me!!! It was only an hour later that my left eye lid began to twitch. I must admit that it was probably the most annoying thing that I have ever experienced in my life up till this point. Not to mention I had to keep people from getting too close to me while in conversation for fear they would notice my one retarded eye blinking by itself. I began to wonder what I was going to do when it continued to go untamed the next morning. I sat in the farthest corner of the classroom and hoped my professor didn't notice this newly formed habit. Today I continue to hide myself from civilization as it has been roughly two weeks and my eye lid is still loving this newly found freedom to do whatever it pleases. Someday I will find peace!

Em