Missed Seasons and a Visit

As much as I loved Houston, and I really loved it, I forgot how nice it was to have seasons. October came around and I found myself falling in love with fall all over again.  There's something magical about the change in the leaves and the gradual chill in the air.  It's nice to wear a jacket and snuggle up on the couch in a blanket with the fire on.  I think our fire in Houston was more for show than actual warmth. 

Rod came into town and we had to take him to the local corn maze and  pumpkin patch.  We went as a family a couple of weeks before and fell in love with it.  We found ourselves staring at each other saying....this is how October is supposed to feel?  I think I actually found myself giggling a few times in my awe over October.  Audrey must have said this was the best day ever several times.  She had a blast leading us through the corn maze. 

This time around didn't disappoint either.  We had such a good time roping, animal feeding, sliding, racing pedal cars, trying to show our strength, and making our way through the corn maze again.  This time we waited until it got dark and went through with flash lights.  If we weren't cool parents before, surely we are now.  Audrey loves flash lights just as much as her Daddy....which is a lot.  She loved going through in the dark but she mentioned that she only liked it when she pointed her flash light a certain way....because if she pointed it the other way it made spooky shadows.  I had a good time trying to scare other maze goers by doing my best witch cackles and ghost noises.  Eventually I couldn't help myself from all out singing my best spooky song.  Audrey gave me the eye roll at one point and told me to stop trying to scare people.  I guess for the first time in her life she was a little embarrassed by her Mom, don't worry that's not the last time it will happen. I'm not afraid to be myself.  :)   

In addition to going to the corn maze we also did a spooky sleepy hallow ride, rode the local Ferris wheel, went to the tool store a few times, watched Emma together, and Paul and Rod did some projects.  It was exactly what we all needed.  Some times it takes someone coming into town to find out that you needed a little break.  

Thank you Rod for coming to visit!  We thoroughly enjoyed having you here!

Hope and Courage

I am months behind on this but honestly who cares.  It's really just my journal and it doesn't matter if I miss a few months here and there....right?  

Over the last 6 months I've been trying to find a place for myself doing something that mattered.  When conference came around I was seeking answers or I guess you could say I was seeking peace and confirmation of what I was doing.  I found it in a few talks.  I'm going to share the links because they were truly amazing.  

After every conference I have fully intended to sit down and study the talks and every time I find myself forgetting.  Just a couple weeks ago I was up alone getting ready before school and I had the thought to start listening to them.  So every morning while I'm getting ready, I listen.  It turns out that it's probably just as effective as sitting down with a paper copy because I find myself remembering the messages throughout the day and when someone is struggling I think first of their words.  The morning is the best time too, because I'm fully awake and my mind is ready to listen. Three of the talks given have brought me the peace and comfort I needed and I hope that as I continue to listen that I will receive more guidance in choices to come.    

This conference was a turning point for us.  I usually buy Audrey a sticker book and I let her do stickers while we listen; usually it's counter productive because she wants me to do it with her.  This time I decided to pull out the bingo board and surprisingly she listened to every talk.  I know I won't always have beautiful peaceful conference weekends, but I was so grateful for this one because I needed it.  

So without further ado......here is the peace and comfort you might be looking for. Go ahead a give them a listen....you know you want to!

By Divine Design

I Have A Work for Thee

Be Ye Therefore Perfect Eventually

What do you wish with a bump on your head?

Someone turned 6.  I think this was the hardest month of my year.  Having Audrey's birthday and having her start school in the same week was a little difficult for me.  I was battling a lot emotionally and I didn't want her to know.  I wanted her to be brave and excited to go to school.  I didn't want my uncertainty to be hers.  I also wanted her birthday to be special even though it was a busy week for us both.  I had this grand party planned and I started to get really overwhelmed with pulling it all off.  I feel like I was trying to keep myself busy in effort to keep my mind off of the impending changes in my life.  Lisa came to my rescue and gave me some simple ideas and I'm grateful I listened.  

Her birthday was on Friday...the second day of school.  She came out of school and I had balloons for her. Then we came home and I had cupcakes waiting and decorations hung.  I thought it was so cute when she did a little happy dance when she walked in the door.  She loves birthdays...it doesn't matter who's it is. Any excuse to decorate and have cupcakes. :)  After dinner we sat down and she opened up her gifts.  I loved watching her excitement over the smallest things.  Her favorite were the pens.  There hasn't been a day since her birthday that she hasn't pulled them out.  Her favorite thing is to draw, write, and make books.  She has made more than I can count.  I'll eventually have to take pictures of them all and make a book of her books.  

I love that she loves something that keeps her learning.  Sometimes I have thoughts of her being a great writer, other times a singer, and sometimes an artist.  I really don't mind what she chooses, I just love watching her explore all the things that she loves.  

The next day we threw her a friend party.  It was simple like I mentioned.  I let them make their own cupcakes from a box and then they got to decorate them.  We sang the very merry un-birthday song and  had a tea party with their cupcakes.  We also pinned the smile on the Cheshire cat and opened gifts.  I had so much more planned but it was nice to simplify.  As it was I was running around like crazy.  I was lucky that Audrey had made what she considered a really good friend after being at school for two days.  She loved him so much that she insisted that she invite him to her party.  I was apprehensive, but I gave her an invitation to give him along with a note from me.  I didn't want his Mom to feel like she had to bring him.  After all, she knew nothing about me.  To my surprise she called me and said she would love to bring him.  Audrey was so excited.  Lily arrived with her son and asked if she could stay.  I was more than willing to let her.  I would have wanted the same thing. 

She knew nothing about me but helped me the entire time.  I don't know what I would have done without her.  Since then we've become friends and I owe it all to Audrey.  

The party was a success and one Audrey will remember for a while I'm sure.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this girl.  I find myself missing her while she's at school, but I love that she's growing in new ways.  It helps that she's not shy about telling me every detail about her day.  Happy Birthday little one!  I can't believe you're one more year older.    

 

 

Finding a New Purpose

My little one,

You're not so little anymore.  I think the hardest and best part of being your Mom is watching you grow.  We waited so long for you.  It was so hard.  I began to wonder if I would ever have a child of my own and then you surprised us.  Finding out that I was pregnant was our Christmas miracle.

You have grown so fast and I have tried to live in every moment.

I let you go off to school.  You were so excited.  I begged you to stay home, but you were ready.  I was sleepless and having panic attacks.  I sobbed almost nightly for a month.  I feel like you just came into my life and now I have to send you off to be with someone else most of the day.  It's hard and everyday I wonder if I'm going the right thing.  After Daddy gave you a blessing this morning I had a thought come to my mind.  I have had so many experiences over the last few years that have helped me grow closer to the Savior.  To list a few: going to Texas and being away from my family, making new friends, being in church congregations that were struggling, and helping people who had little to nothing, taking care of a little girl who needed a family and then having to give her up after falling in love with her, moving to Montana, and then finding new friends again.  These are things that have helped me to learn love, find faith, and doubt my doubts.  Why would I ever keep you from experiencing these things yourself.

In Daddy's blessing you were told that you have a strong spirit and that you will be able to be a good example.  There are kids in your school that don't have what you have and it's my hope that while you are there you will learn to love all of them the way Jesus would.

I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that he loves you.  He is guiding our lives and he is very aware of us.  It's a good thing we are in this together.  Change is good, even though it's hard.

I love you snuggle bug!

Love,

Your Mom

The Other Half

This actually happened y'all.  I got visitors from my side of the family....and they were super cute to boot.  It was so good to have Michael's family here.  It does my heart good to spend more time with him.  There was a time about 10 years ago when he was my other half.  We did everything together and I think we told each other everything.  I'll never complain about being born between the only two boys in the family because they are truly my best friends.  I love their stinking guts!

It's been a long time since I've actually sat down with Michael and talked like we used.  To start off with he saved me from a terrible migraine with a late night visit to Taco Bell.  It was quite the scene.  For the first time in my life I was begging for Caffeine at a fast food window and the guy there didn't have any Coke.  I settled for a blue Mountain Dew...which was gross, but so worth it when my going on 3 day migraine vanished.  It was magic!

The next day we went to church together, watch church shows, played play-doh, and sailed pieces of plastic down the irrigation ditch.  The kids had such a good time together. Wyatt became my buddy and I had the pleasure of fixing Colten's stuffed animal. What can I say...I'm trying to earn favorite Aunt status here.  I'll have to work on the girls next time...they like their parents a little too much.  :)   Audrey was so sad when her six little friends went home.  It really was too short.  We miss them.  Thank you Mike and Chrissy for the late night talks and sharing your babies with me.  I love your guts!