We're bored, and I'm not currently desperate enough to paint. Maybe tomorrow...or maybe tonight. Singing is the best substitute. I thought Audrey would sing with me. She didn't really join in. I sing this song to her often because it's currently one of my favorite Broadway songs.
I love taking photos. It makes me so happy to see the finished product. These are some photos I took for a friend a couple weeks ago. I love taking pictures of them. They are so willing to let their personalities shine and be themselves. It makes taking the pictures easy. Congrats on your mission call Jonah! Alaska is lucky to have you.
Paul has spent quite a bit of time away lately because of work. So he took Audrey out this morning for some much needed Daddy Daughter time. They are buddies and she loves being with him. I had to snap this picture before they left together.
They went to Chick-fil-a for Audrey's favorite chicken and played in the play place. Then Paul took her to Charming Charlie to look at accessories. He must know her well because he told me she was so happy and they practically spent an entire hour there. He asked her if she wanted to buy anything and she sad no, she just wanted to look.
As they were leaving she excitedly told Paul that she loved being there, she said, "Daddy, they have all the kinds of things I like at this store.". I would say we're in trouble, but I thought it was sweet that she didn't want to get anything. I think more than anything she just wanted to be with him.
Watching them together makes me the happiest girl in the world.
Fall has neglected us. I'll be honest and say it's been less hot. It was funny, I went to take Audrey to the dentist today. I'm in my shorts and a t shirt. As we're driving out of the neighborhood I spotted a couple of kids on their way to school with coats on. I don't know if they know that it's hot outside.
A week ago we were doing this (below). I know your jealous! Probably not. I'm sitting here baking pumpkin bread hoping to be more inviting to mother nature so that she'll get the memo.
I don't know if you know.....Fall has a smell. I have such fond memories of living in Utah and riding my bike to my parents house during October. Everyone's house was decorated, smell of Fall was in the air, and the leaves were turning colors. Ahhhh. I'm kind of missing it right now.
I keep on having to remind myself that I don't have to deal with the freezing cold temperatures and the snow, that usually makes me feel better.
Besides....we really enjoyed ourselves in the sprinkler. Well Audrey did. I had an awesome time until I face planted into the grass. Yeah. I thought I was going to be a cool Mom and run and jump on the trampoline, then jump off and keep running (I don't know if I'm making sense). Well it didn't really work out. On the way off the trampoline my foot caught and I ended up with my face in the grass with a sprained toe. Oh yeah. I'm cool now....with a capital C!
The best part. My own daughter just kept right on playing. I turned around as I pulled myself up off of the ground and asked why she didn't ask if I was okay. She shrugged. I told her that she was supposed to come make me feel better like I do for her when she gets hurt. She answered with, "I'm sorry Mom." and kept playing.
Words cannot describe how much I love this munchkin. Her need to be fancy all the time cracks me up. Look at that crown, and in some pictures she has a sparkly bracelet on. She was being Elsa with water powers. Yes, here were in the south we have to settle for water powers. Don't be jealous!
Oh San Antonio how I love you! I think you are beautiful. Sometimes I wish my husband had a job here. This was our second road trip of the month for another of Paul's business trips. We spent a few days hanging out at the river walk while Paul had meetings all day again. It was so peaceful to take a walk next to the river with Audrey in the morning. There was no one around except for a sweet older woman who offered to take a picture of me and Audrey. I appreciated it because I'm usually the one behind the camera.
After our walk we went back to the hotel room with nothing to do but watch Audrey's favorite Disney shows and eat lunch. It was nice not to have anywhere to be, and not feel guilty that I wasn't doing something.
After lunch we took another walk to the boat ride, where we climbed aboard for a tour around the river. We learned all sorts of interesting facts about the buildings surrounding the river and the river itself.
We had dinner that evening at The Rain Forest Cafe for the first time. I had no idea what to expect. They asked if we wanted to be sat next to the gorilla or the waterfall. I asked Audrey what she wanted and she said she wanted to sit next to the gorilla. Little did I know that there was a whole animatronics thing going on. The gorilla actually came to LIFE! With the sounds of hideous noises and gruntsAudrey jumped out of her seat and into my lap in one bound. She thought her nightmares were coming true. After the gorilla calmed down I thought that was the end of it, so I told Audrey it was okay, and she could go back to her seat. 15 minutes later he erupted again and she was back curled up in my lap with her hands over her eyes saying, "he's gonna get me Mom". I moved her chair close to me and had her sit down. I told her that he was a nice gorilla and he was just trying to talk to his friends across the restaurant so he had to talk really loud. She seemed to be okay with that, except that she had to cover her eyes every time he turned back on. Needless to say, now that I am informed as to the what goes on in that place, we will be sitting by the waterfall next time, or maybe the elephant. The elephant seems safe.
The next day I spent all morning trying to get a hold of my cousin. She lives in San Antonio and I didn't want to miss her while I was there. I finally got a hold of her and we spent the afternoon together. We talked about our families, about our new houses, about life general, and about adoption. I would say that the best part of our time here in San Antonio was getting to spend time with Cindy. She adopted one of her girls and has the most beautiful adoption story. As she told me about it I couldn't help but tear up. It was amazing to see how God's hand was so evident in her story. I know he is guiding our story too and I can only hope that it ends as beautifully as hers.
That evening Paul was finally done with his meetings and we got to spend the evening together. I miss him! As much as I have enjoyed being away, I'm glad that I get to see him more now that we're home.
Last month was so busy for us. Between getting ourselves internet ready for the possibility of adoption and going on two business trips with Paul, we didn't have time to do much else. Paul had three business trips during the month and after being alone for the first one I told him he couldn't leave without us again. I'm glad we decided to join him. When we arrived we got to enjoy the hotel pool, eat dinner, and ride the train together. The next day Paul spent all day in meetings and we spent the day enjoying ourselves on the boardwalk.
Along the boardwalk there are a lot of theme park type rides. Audrey and I went on every ride that she was tall enough to go on. Her favorite was the monkey ride. They take you up in the air and then drop you and then bring you back up again and drop you again several times. It was the kid version so it wasn't terribly high, but it was pretty high for her. We must have gone on it ten times.
The best part was that it was on a week day and there really was no one there, so we could go on whatever ride we wanted whenever we wanted.
For lunch we stopped into an Italian Pizza place which was so delicious. If we had one down the street I might be in trouble. We ate the whole pizza together and I didn't even feel bad about it.
When 5:00 hit we were both smashed. It was so hot and Audrey was practically begging me to go home. Luckily Paul finished up with his meetings and we got in the car for the trip home. Audrey slept the entire way.
It was the best mini vacation ever!
The only bad part....I forgot my camera card. Cell phone pictures....Yay!
If you don't already know from the crazy amount of posts I've done on Facebook, Instagram, and adoption.com. Paul and I are trying to find a baby to adopt. I created a blog, an instagram account, and an adoption profile on adoption.com I poured everything I had into getting them ready to launch. You can't imagine how difficult it was to put myself out there like that. To write things that I have never really expressed out loud. After our profile went live I wanted to run and take it all down because putting myself out there, feels like I'm standing there letting everyone see my soul.
I broke down a couple nights ago. It's hard for me to even say this here among friends and family but I'm scared. I'm really scared. I put my heart on the line when I did fertility treatments knowing that it may not work. When I miscarried it broke my heart, but I was willing to try again only to feel that same pain when it didn't work for the fourth time.
I decided at that point that I needed to stop. I felt like Heavenly Father was telling me to have faith and be still. Nothing felt right for two years. I've done a lot of pondering, praying, and inward looking. One day adoption popped into my head just like it had several times before. But this time I felt good about it. I threw the idea at Paul one day and he didn't seem to go for it. That night I prayed so hard that if it was the right thing that Paul would bring it up again. Two weeks later Paul walked in from work and said, "Emily, I think we need to talk about adoption.". At that point I couldn't argue, I put my heart and soul into getting ready over the last three months.
So now I'm at the point where I have to put my heart out there again and don't know if I can handle another heart break. I'm scared to death. I'm even more scared that I have to put it into someone else's hands.
The only thing I find comfort in, is knowing that I feel like this is the right thing. I went to San Antonio a week ago with Paul for a business trip and I got to visit my dear cousin. I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace as I spoke to her about her adoption and the things she felt like she should share with me. She will never know how much it meant to me. Walking away, I had to think that the last minute timing of Paul's business trip was no coincidence. God knew I needed someone to lift my soul.
So everyday I remind myself of those things and everyday I remind myself to be still and have faith. As Audrey often reminds me, "Don't worry Mom, everything will be okay!".
So here's to our new adventure of chasing hope!
It would make me super happy and grateful if those of you reading this would share the links below somewhere on social media, or your blog (if you haven't already). Love you all!
I can't believe I didn't get any pictures of my sister's wedding. I'm killing myself. I realized when we got to the temple that I didn't have a camera and then at the reception I was singing so I didn't take the time to photograph any of it. I was hoping to steal images from my sisters. Hopefully someday soon. I'm so happy that I could be there. Tamara was a beautiful bride. As I watched both her and Chase with tears in their eyes as they tied the knot I couldn't help but get a little misty eyed myself. Afterward as Kimberly (her twin) went up to hug them both I might have overflowed with tears knowing that they have been through so much together and they have grown up to be such beautiful girls inside and out. I'm so proud of Tamara and that she found an equally amazing guy to be with her forever.
So here's the sad story. When I got home Paul put my camera card into the computer. I thought that he had unloaded the pictures onto our computer but he hadn't. A few days later I pulled my card out of the computer and deleted everything from it just like I always do. I was devastated when I realized that I had lost everything from my trip to Utah, especially the sweet day Audrey and I spent with my parents. I scrambled on the computer to find some sort of software to bring back the pictures that were gone. I found one that would restore all the images including the raw but it was going to cost me 40$. Yikes! So I found a free software that was able to restore just the JPEGs which are not super awesome, but the fact that I got the pictures back meant everything to me.
After the wedding we all took much needed time to relax and enjoy each others company. The kids played. We had a lazy Sunday with delicious food. I love being at my Mom's house on Sunday.
I spent a few afternoons and evenings with Paul's family. Pretty much every time we got together Audrey wanted to sit on the couch and have Grandpa or Anna read to her the entire time. She loves to have them read to her. I love that she loves to read. They were so sweet to indulge her, despite Grandpa being so tired that he fell asleep once....he just kept going. I also got to go to a concert with the adults in the Kendall Family and the Storytelling festival. They were both really good. I owe it to Nicole to get me out of my old woman comfort zone. She begged me to get up with her and dance at the concert. I caved, and thoroughly enjoyed myself dancing with Grant and Nicole. They are pretty awesome.
My sisters had the awesome idea of building a box village. It was fun to watch the kids get so excited about their houses. Audrey claimed a house that was supposed to be Leo's. It was a small box with a door and a window. She loved being in there and was content to just be by herself.
Kimberly rented us a puppy the next day that we played with for a couple hours before having to sadly give him back.
(video below)
Jenn had her baby while I was there! I haven't been there for many special events and I'm glad I was there for this one. It was sweet to get to see this little miracle come into Jennifer and Derrick's lives. Her story is so beautiful. I hope she someday realizes how many prayers she has answered. Happy
Birthday little Margaret!
I got to spent an afternoon at my Mom's work baking chocolate, chocolate chip cookies with pecans...they were delicious. Audrey enjoyed playing with kitchen gadgets that we ended out buying because you can't leave that place without getting something.
Then Mom took an extra afternoon off to spend with us. We went to Bridle Veil Falls. When we got there we put our toes into the water. It was COLD, REALLY COLD! At one point Audrey and I bravely ventured out to the middle of the pond to get a picture. Audrey got used to it a lot faster than I did because she was in it for quite a while. At one point she decided to get a little braver and stood on this little rock, and immediately fell into the water soaking her bottom half. The shock on her face from the cold was evident. She wanted to go home immediately, until Dad mentioned feeding the fish and then she didn't want to leave. I watched as my parents fed the fish with Audrey and I was so grateful for this time with them, for me and for Audrey.
