The Closet Performer

(This picture was taken by my sister..isn't she amazing?!)

I feel like I have to hide when I practice. Not because I'm afraid to sing or practice in front of people...to be honest I am afraid people will get annoyed. Practicing whether it's piano, guitar, or voice is not beautiful. Paul's Mom told me that when Paul was younger they never knew he could really play the Saxophone. He was taking lessons and was in band, but they never heard anything but phrases of music he struggled with, played over and over again.
I guess I struggle with something Paul didn't, he's usually better than me at most things but I never thought it would extend to music.
Why should anyone else have to endure the ugly part of music? I have come to the conclusion that this is the reason why most people don't practice. All anyone wants is the performance part of music, the part that comes with adrenaline, lights, and a stage.
As a result since moving to Texas I have become a closet performer. I have a shelf cleared in my closet where my keyboard sits. I have found a way to plug the keyboard in by fishing the wire underneath the door to the plug outside. Once I am in the closet I reach up to the top shelf where the towels are located and stuff one in the opening between the door and the floor. At this point I am committed to at least an hour of practice. The acoustics are terrible....a lot of dead space, and my voice doesn't carry beyond the shelf in front of me. The closet seems to work for now, but I still find myself hitting the walls when I stretch my arms back to help me hit a high note. Sometimes it gets a little boring when I've been staring at my cleaning products for a solid hour proclaiming my love or disgust for them.
I just keep telling myself that at sometime in the future I will have a house where I can make all the ugly music I want while Paul is away at work. Until then...I fear the closet and I continue to grow closer.