Sweet Wyatt

I've been avoiding this.  Mostly because I haven't known what to say.  I feel like I've been bombarded by tragedy this year and I really don't know how to handle it. 

During our vacation to Disney we got the news that my nephew Wyatt was diagnosed with AML Leukemia.  It was a blow to all of us.  I found myself sobbing at random for days.  I wanted to take what seemed like a nightmare away from my brother and his wife.  I wanted a do over.  I wanted to rewind a few months and let them go back to normal.  I instantly thought back to their visit here last year.  They didn't have to come this far out of their way to see me.  I was grateful for every moment I got to spend with them and their sweet babies and now I'm even more grateful.  I'm grateful for that time without cancer, without hospital stays, and without fear of the unknown. 

I got to go out a few weeks ago and take care of Michael and Chrissy's kids.  I wanted so badly to help.....to relieve some small portion of their burden.  I really just wanted to take all the pain away but I knew I couldn't do that.  The only thing I could do(as small as it was), was to be there to take care of their kids while Michael went to work and to the hospital. 

I could tell that Michael carried a burden that I could probably never comprehend and that was only half of it.  Chrissy carried the other half at the hospital day in and day out watching her son suffer and not being able to do anything about it.  I had a hard time leaving knowing I couldn't be there to help if he needed me another time.  I hate living so far away and I've grown to hate it even more now that some of my family members are struggling and I can't be there to help. 

Today my heart goes out again to my brother and his wife.  They received yet again some difficult news.  I find myself going to my knees yet again to ask for help from the only person who can lift and carry them through this.  He promises that He won't leave us comfortless so I have to trust that He's going to be there in their many hours of need.   

I was reading my grandma's history last night.  I'm so grateful that she took the time to record her thoughts.  As I read about her life and the things she went through I drew comfort and strength from her experiences. I've had a picture of my great grandmother on my fridge for a while.  She too went through a lot in her lifetime.  The future can be a scary thing....you never know what it holds.  I just pray that I'll be strong enough to make it through to the other side with a strong testimony like these women.