I haven't written much on here about Wyatt and the struggle his family has been through over the last 7 months. I kept those thoughts, hopes, feelings, and questions in my personal journal. I couldn't put them here. I have put this post off because I knew it would bring back the feelings and emotions of that week. Sometimes for me if feels like a bad dream that I'm going to wake up from, I know it's not, I know that it's even more real for his parents who live in that reality everyday. I wish so badly that it was a bad dream for them.
Being at Wyatt's funeral was such a heavenly experience, one I wouldn't give up for the world. As Michael and Chrissy spoke I felt the spirit so strongly whisper to my soul that even though we were feeling a loss that we weren't alone. When the kids got up to sing Gethsemane I cried as I saw in my minds eye Wyatt walking up to the stand with all the rest of them. He was standing right there in the front row where everyone could hear his testimony.
I couldn't help but reflect on Michael's words after Chrissy had Kate. He told me that the love he felt for this new baby was unlike anything he could describe. He said, he now understood to some measure how much LOVE Heavenly Father has for each of us. As the days past after Wyatt's funeral I was thinking about that moment. I realized that now he can also, to some measure, know what it was like for Heavenly Father to watch his son suffer and die in the most cruel way, to love and then to lose for a time. This could probably be never bring any peace to his soul now, but I thought it was beautiful when this scripture came to mind, "Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect". In a sense, Michael and Chrissy are walking in his footsteps. As they move forward I'm sure that they will need to be carried often by the only other person who has walked that same path. I hope they feel him there more often than they don't.
Michael and Chrissy's testimony in the way they continue to live with faith that they will see Wyatt again is unlike anything I've ever seen. I'm sure they feel broken but I only see strength. I continue to think of them and Wyatt everyday. There are so many life lessons I've learn from Wyatt and this experience. Without even knowing it he has been and continues to be a missionary to my soul. Through this my testimony that Heavenly Father's plan is perfect has only grown. I am more grateful now, than I ever have been, for a Savior who truly saves.
I also am so grateful for what my institute teacher told me a couple weeks before Wyatt passed. She had been following his journey and without me even asking she was and instrument in God's hands in answering my prayers. I won't bore you with every detail leading up to this but in a sense it came around to me telling her that I felt like God was withholding the miracle I knew he could give. She told me that if kept searching the scriptures and praying that I would receive the answer I was searching for and the answer that he wanted me to have. Then she said something that gave me what I needed to get through the next couple weeks. She said, "Emily we've been learning about the Savior this year and in coming to these classes you know that our purpose here is the same purpose we had in the pre-mortal world. We either choose to follow the Savior or we don't. Coming to know him is a process for all of us. I feel like with what you have told me, just since Wyatt was diagnosed, you have come to know the Savior even more. She continued with saying that she was sure that my whole family had come closer to him as well. She said, "Emily if Wyatt passed away, don't you think that he would be able to look back and be happy that part of his mission here was to bring your family to the Savior and to help them and you choose him? I cry now thinking about it. I'm so grateful to Wyatt for giving me another opportunity to choose and trust in the Savior.
I love you little one! Till we meet again. You will never be forgotten! 💗
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